Price: $7.99 - $4.99
(as of Jan 21, 2025 03:39:28 UTC – Details)
Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised describes how reclaiming healthy sexuality is a journey into a satisfying future. We don’t have to know precisely what is wrong sexually to begin the process of healing. It is enough to sense that something is off, something is missing, not working right. Our thoughts or behaviors are somehow disturbing. We can be sure that whatever our thoughts, feelings or behaviors, we are not alone. Those of us who seek healing – from incest, from other abuse, from misguided intentions, from societal pressures, from addiction, from such effects on our loved ones – can embark on this journey of recovery. We can relinquish shame for who we are and what we do. We are voyaging to the place where our sexual thoughts, feelings and behaviors emerge out of loving and where our sexual energy is healthy and health giving.
Price: $7.99 - $4.99
(as of Jan 21, 2025 03:39:28 UTC – Details)
etsy, #etsy, @etsy
Chris Miles –
I wish I’d read this when I was 18!
This book opened my eyes to understanding the way I have been experiencing sex and shown me a path to a much healthier way. I am in the midst of divorce from the mother of my 2 beautiful daughters. Sex was not a direct issue for us in particular, we had many other issues that came up in various marriage counseling sessions. But I think my experience of sexuality influenced my choice of a mate, and had I been healthier I would have chosen better, and also, that healthier sex would have made addressing our other issues in our relationship more successful.Shame and the issue of sex addiction has been addressed many places but Hasting’s concept of what she calls crosswiring is something that was new to me. I will try to explain crosswiring in a nutshell here: There are certain activities that are not sexual in and of themselves but that cause sexual arousal in some of us such as s&m, romance, etc. These things interfere with our direct experience of sex, with touching and experiencing and being present with ourselves and our partner. Hastings suggests that we should experience sex “from the inside out” rather than from the “outside in” and that it should spring freely and naturally from our relating with our partner, rather than from ideas and fantasies we have about certain body types, romantic or taboo situations or whatever. I find this very appealing. Anne comes from a psychology background and is not moralistic or judgmental about this. She is anti-Shame. As I interpreted one if one feels that any of the above-mentioned activities are rich or rewarding and satisfying for that it is fine to continue that. Anything is fine as long as long as you are not hurting other people. But if you are not able to be sexual without these things then you are limiting your sexual experience and hence your human experience. This message resonated strongly with me. (If you are thinking the author sounds like a prude you will be surprised with what she includes as healthy sexual activity) I found her ideas new and for me paradigm changing. It fits with another author that I have been influenced by, Ekhart Tolle, who writes about being present and experiencing things fully in the present moment. I am planning to implement Hasting’s ideas in my next relationship.If you are completely happy with your sex life and your experience of sex there is no need to read this book. If you feel like your sex life could be better, and particularly if you feel like cross wiring might be an issue for you, this book might be helpful for you.
Christian Schlegel –
cognitive-behavior oriented advice that would be useful for more “normal” couples that have not necessarily experience …
This book targets the distorted sexual views and habits embedded in our culture and relates it systematical and cultural shaming of an individual’s natural sexual impulses, especially during childhood. I found this book very interested, eye opening, and at times outright disturbing. Clearly, Ms Hastings has encountered many severely distorted sexual habits and practices. Her directives of healing amount to a classical view of psychoanalysis, based on introspection, dialogue, and (at times lengthy) therapy. While this is undoubtedly an avenue that will produce results, I am missing more positive, cognitive-behavior oriented advice that would be useful for more “normal” couples that have not necessarily experience sexual trauma in childhood. I also find her views that anything that is not inside-out sexual arousal to be pathological. In truth, I am not sure exactly what the inside-out really means. As a male, I am very visually oriented and the sight of an attractive woman stirs up feelings, not necessarily sexual, but nonetheless decidedly outside-in. I appreciate her advice to see these feelings in a more natural way and to channel energy towards my partner in intimacy enhancing ways. I wish the behavioral part of her book would have been as strong and exquisitely poignant as her analysis of the effects of shame. I believe the author’s own experience may trip her up in this part, and I hope that a new revision in the future will provide a completion of this work by integrating her deep insight into sexual pathologies with a more inclusive view of practical applications to enhance sexuality in partnerships that are not solely based on psychoanalytic approaches to heal severe trauma.
M. M. Jackson –
Sex straightened out to its beautiful, natural state
Wow! One of the biggest and most meaningful changes I’ve experienced from a book. I feel like my brain, soul and heart are being re-wired by this book.To use a computer term, to be male in our culture is to be installed with a bunch of needless, useless, flashy bloatware. And everyone gets it installed by default. This book walks you through uninstalling it.Fantastic and a top recommendation for anyone struggling with this subject in dating, marriage, etc. It is really a hopeful, meaningful and, best of all, actionable vision for the future.
Susan the Grouch –
Sex is a drive, like eating
Important to see the relationship between the societal suppression of a natural urge and the many misdirected ways that urge escapes out of us one way or another.
Amazon Customer –
TWO BOOKS IN ONE!
I’m the author, so of course I give it five stars! Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised is a truly updated composite of Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy (1991) for individual healing, and Discovering Sexuality That Will Satisfy You Both (1993) for couples. I’ve used exercises and many case examples to demonstrate how a couple can use their relationship to heal the sexuality of both. All of us have had our sexuality damaged by just living in this culture, and so taking a look at all of the myths and cultural rules that dominate us can help relieve ordinary shame. Then there are the more serious obstacles to healthy sex brought about by sexual abuse and by emotional abuse that isn’t even about sex. I lay out a plan to heal any symptoms, including those required arousers that stay hidden because of shame, and because of knowing that shaming is coming if they are revealed. Its possible to begin healing from this need even with no commitment to stopping it.After helping people heal sexuality for many years, I came to see that shame is the one large obstacle for all of us. So I wrote Healing Humanity: Life Without Shameto take a more specific look at how ordinary, everyday shaming going on all around us supports our continued carrying of toxic shame. First we have to be able to see it, then stop taking it in, and then heal what is already within. I’d love to receive emails if you like either book!
ksjkvq –
Best book Iâve read on making loveJust need to overlook some problems of layout in the kindle copy making it difficult it to read in places